You shoulda seen her legs! Long as January,
hot as July, walkin' down the hotel hall
ahead of me. Mike and Cindy had an open bar,
so by the time I see this chick I'm about halfway
downtown, if ya know what I mean, and
when she walks into the reception in the next
ballroom over, I find myself followin' her in. I
beat it straight to the bartender for two
Jack 'n' Cokes and saunter towards the dance floor,
figurin' if anyone hassles me I won't have a hard time
actin' drunk and lost. I was plannin' to give her
one of my drinks, but she was so hot dancin'
in that short silver skirt that before I knew it,
I'd done drunk 'em both! Then, "Brick House"
comes on and I'm right next to her, so I tell her
she's 'smokin'. She smiles and I start dancin'
with her—you know, a little bump 'n' grind like
they do on MTV. Things start gettin' fuzzy
after that, but I remember I stepped on her foot,
and she didn't like that too much, so I tried
to apologize by tellin' her it prob'ly hurt 'cause
I used to leg press 400 pounds back in my track days.
I had to think of something to say to this vixen,
but by then it was the Jack talkin', not me, and I think
the last thing I said was something about how hard
my pole vault was and then she was chasin' me
with her pepper spray and I was hurdlin' chairs
to get to the door. And wouldn't ya know
I get out to the parking lot and my damn wife
drove home without me! But those legs, Bill,
you shoulda seen those legs.