Legs Amie Myers You shoulda seen her legs! Long as January, hot as July, walkin' down the hotel hall ahead of me. Mike and Cindy had an open bar, so by the time I see this chick I'm about halfway downtown, if ya know what I mean, and when she walks into the reception in the next ballroom over, I find myself followin' her in. I beat it straight to the bartender for two Jack 'n' Cokes and saunter towards the dance floor, figurin' if anyone hassles me I won't have a hard time actin' drunk and lost. I was plannin' to give her one of my drinks, but she was so hot dancin' in that short silver skirt that before I knew it, I'd done drunk 'em both! Then, "Brick House" comes on and I'm right next to her, so I tell her she's 'smokin'. She smiles and I start dancin' with her—you know, a little bump 'n' grind like they do on MTV. Things start gettin' fuzzy after that, but I remember I stepped on her foot, and she didn't like that too much, so I tried to apologize by tellin' her it prob'ly hurt 'cause I used to leg press 400 pounds back in my track days. I had to think of something to say to this vixen, but by then it was the Jack talkin', not me, and I think the last thing I said was something about how hard my pole vault was and then she was chasin' me with her pepper spray and I was hurdlin' chairs to get to the door. And wouldn't ya know I get out to the parking lot and my damn wife drove home without me! But those legs, Bill, you shoulda seen those legs.

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